Joyeful Things

Blob

2008-10-17T15:05:00.004-05:00

The word 'blog' sounds a lot like the word 'blob.' The former has become the latter on Joyeful Things. Just taking up space. I was talking to my friend, Jan. She noticed that I haven't blogged since June 28th. That makes about three people that have commented about my blogosphere absence, which probably constitutes my entire readership. :) So I thought I'd write something.

My days are pretty busy. And noisy, filled with voices; engines; a variety of alarms and ringtones. And when they aren't, I try to have days that are slow and quiet. Lately, I've had more of the busy ones.

But even if I only have a wee slot of time, the most quieting thing I can do is spend it hanging out with the Lord. How Someone so immense that He creates universes and fills the heavenly Temple with the train of His robe can be so communicative and so quiet at the same time is a miracle in itself. But He's the only One in whose presence I find total peace and quiet. So I like talking to Him.

"I will listen to what God the LORD will say; he promises peace to his people, his saints—" Psalm 85:8

V ery B onny S isters

2008-06-28T10:00:00.003-05:00

This was VBS week. The most exhausting and most enjoyable week of the year, because the gkids stay with us so they can attend. This week we

- played Wii

- saw Kung Fu Panda

- played in the fountain at Shops at HV

- swam

- ate at their fave restaurant (Mama's Daughter's)

- had a fantastic pillow fight

- attended the VBS carnival

I'm feeling every bit my age today. And I haven't even finished cleaning the house after our wild week.

Happy Saturday!

So I don't forget

2008-06-20T17:24:00.002-05:00

I wanted to write this down so I won't forget it.

One of the sweetest moments occurred while we were at my mom's recently. Mom, my brother, Mike and I watched the movie Amazing Grace together one evening. It's a powerful story. When it ended and the credits rolled, we all sat quietly. Then I clicked back to the main menu and selected the Chris Tomlin music video of the title song. The silence turned from thoughtful to prayerful with an unanticipated few minutes of worship as we listened to the music. I had my eyes closed as I praised God. When I looked around, the guys were looking intently at the screen and my mother was in tears.

When the song finished, we all muttered something lame like, "Wow."

Thank you, Jesus, for the gift of a family who loves You. I don't take that for granted.

THE BODY ELECTRIC

2008-06-13T13:01:00.002-05:00

I've been addicted to watching the Discovery Health network lately.

I'm fascinated by how the human body reacts to mysterious foreign invasions.

I'm awed by how it tolerates much and regenerates itself after sustaining life-threatening injuries.

I'm thoughtful of how precious and singular is each person's life.

I'm saddened by how one's physical trial can cause so much pain for the sufferer as well as the people who love him.

I'm maddened by the inexhaustible capacity and fervor of the prince of this world to inflict pain.

I'm thankful that the Creator of the human body is sovereign and brings order out of chaos.

I'm hopeful for the Day when our-wonderfully-and-fearfully-made bodies will function as they were intended.

My mom had eye surgery yesterday to relieve pressure from glaucoma. My dad received his second radioactive iodine treatment several days ago to kill the cancer from his thyroid. My stepmom was diagnosed with tick fever three days ago and is very sick.

Have you read Isaiah 64? Part of it says,

"Behold, I will create new heavens and a new earth. The former things will not be remembered, nor will they come to mind.
But be glad and rejoice forever in what I will create, for I will create Jerusalem to be a delight and its people a joy.
I will rejoice over Jerusalem and take delight in my people; the sound of weeping and of crying will be heard in it no more.
"Never again will there be in it an infant who lives but a few days, or an old man who does not live out his years; he who dies at a hundred will be thought a mere youth; he who fails to reach a hundred will be considered accursed." Isaiah 64:17-20

I'm looking forward to that.

Our Choice

2008-01-29T22:04:00.000-06:00

My reading schedule took me to Exodus 25 today. It's the chapter in which the Lord instructs Moses to tell the sons of Israel what He requires as a sanctuary for Him, "that I may dwell among them." He proceeds with a very, long shopping list of the choicest materials. But the part that caught my attention was verse 2:

"Tell the sons of Israel to raise a contribution for Me; from every man whose heart moves him you shall raise My contribution."

He told them what He required to have fellowship with Him, but left it up to the individuals as to what they wanted to do about it.

Jesus does the same thing in the New Testament. He tells us what is required of us to have fellowship with Him, but leaves the response up to us. We can give a little or a lot. Or nothing at all.

Has that always been in the text?

2008-01-23T12:42:00.000-06:00

In the books of Matthew, Mark, and Luke the writers tell that Jesus was wrapped in clean, white cloth. When we celebrate Easter we always see the beautiful artists' renderings of the empty grave clothes, pristine and spotless like new sheets right out of the package, draped over a slab of rock. But John adds the little detail that Nicodemus brought 100 pounds of a myrrh/aloe mixture as well. ONE HUNDRED POUNDS. So I'm picturing these clean, white cloths being soaked or pasted with a hundred pounds of spices and wrapped around the body of Jesus.

It seems to me that it would've been a sticky, time-consuming mess for someone to go to the trouble of unwrapping a dead body to steal it. Or a body that had the added 100+ pounds of spices and linens being carried out unseen and carted off to who-knows-where.

Not that I needed convincing, it was just one of those things I've read over so many times that I didn't take notice before. My thoughts during my daily reading today.

Yep. He's alive.

So What's New?

2008-01-13T22:42:00.000-06:00

It's been a long time since I've posted anything. I tried a few times and just couldn't gather my thoughts enough to write something. But it's time to get back to it.

The new year has begun. Most people have a little bit of new stuff received as Christmas gifts; a few new hopes and maybe some goals for the year; and some have carried a few new pounds into the new year!

I love the idea of newness in Scripture. King David thought it important to have a lot of new songs to sing to the Lord. (Ps. 33:3, 40:3, 96:1, 98:1, 144:9, 149:1) I guess it was the musician in him. What other new things could we offer the Lord as often as a song?

The Lord Jesus was all about new. New commandment. (Jn. 13:34) New covenant. (1Cor. 11:25) New life. (Rom. 6:4) New names. (Rev. 2:17, 3:12) I love that! It seems humorous to me now that when I was young I thought Christianity was so old and stale. How wonderful to be so wrong! Thank you, Lord, for making life new every day.

Since we're on the subject of new things, my good friend Cheryl has started a blog called The Lord is my Light. Drop in and say hi to her.

Friends

2007-11-25T15:11:00.000-06:00

"It's friendship, friendship,
Just a perfect blendship,
When other friendships have been forgot
Ours will still be hot!"

I have a friend who sticks closer than a brother. (Prov. 18:24) That's saying a lot, because I know my two brothers would be by my side in a heartbeat if I needed them. But I love how the Lord has set up the church to fill that need for his children: the need for friendships.

Job needed friends. His friends were there for him, too. (Job 2:11-13) Granted, they would've been more help to him if they'd just stuck to their first reactions: "Then they sat down on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights with no one speaking a word to him, for they saw that his pain was very great." But it's a rare friend who doesn't offer advice in a well-meaning effort to 'fix' things.

We spent the last two evenings with different friends we don't see nearly often enough. It's funny how the relationship works. We share a meal or sip coffee together; we skim magazines in a bookstore or play dominoes at a kitchen table; we talk or we listen. But in those small pursuits, a connection develops. The more frequency, the more familiar and the more familiarity, the more intimacy and consequently we have friends.

Is it that easy? I think it's supposed to be. Christians have a ready-made community in their fellow churchgoers. The word 'friend' shows up in the New Testament only 15 times, but the word 'brother' appears 101 times. Call them friends or family, God expects us to develop relationships with one another that go even beyond friendship (see Monday, 3/13/06 post for ONE ANOTHER scriptures). He never addresses the issue of being too shy to make friends. He doesn't make allowance for us to spend life alone rather than interacting with one another, because the Christian life is lived in concert.

I'm thankful that God expects me to make friends. I'm thankful that He gives me what I lack to move past shyness and self-consciousness and ask someone if they'd like to talk over coffee or something. I'm thankful for people like the ones we passed the last two evenings with, who purposefully pursue friendships the way they do and include us in their pursuit.

Just the perfect blendship.

Our Precious Moments Boy

2007-11-20T16:36:00.000-06:00

Looking Back

2007-11-18T15:23:00.000-06:00

This is my anniversary. Or birthday. Or something. Anyway, it's a special day to me. It was on a Sunday, too. I was scared, nervous, determined, and by the end of the day, elated.

This was the day I determined to let everyone know I decided to follow Jesus. I didn't understand the full scope of what that decision meant, but I'd learned enough to know it was the right thing. I stepped out into the aisle of the church to make that profession, scared to draw attention to myself, nervous about what would come next, but determined to embrace a relationship with Christ. My legs felt like they'd give out on me before I reached the front of the church, but I made it.

It was also the day I met Mike. My dad introduced us before church. A hello-nice-to-meet-you sort of thing. I had two more encounters with Mike that day. He was the minister who waited at the front of the church to counsel anyone who walked the aisle to make that public profession of faith.

This was the day I was baptized during the evening service. My baptism followed that of my dad, my uncle, and my brother. It was a family affair. And afterward Mike walked up to me to congratulate me. The rest is history. Thirty-four years of it. The Lover of my soul and my soulmate given to me on the same day.

Looking back, I thought I loved Mike 34 years ago, but I never could've imagined how much love could grow over the years. I can say the same thing about Christ- I thought I loved Him 34 years ago, too, but my love for Him has grown and hopefully matured a little. Yeah, that's what I'm thankful for this Thanksgiving: knowing love.

What really stands out in my mind is God's faithfulness through all those years. And His patience. I tried to walk away from Him once. I put other people and other things before Him many times. But when I turned away, He didn't. When I drifted, He stayed. When I displaced Him, He remained faithful.

I still don't understand the full scope of our relationship. But I still know it was the right thing.

Hebrews 13:5 says, "... for He Himself has said, "I WILL NEVER DESERT YOU, NOR WILL I EVER FORSAKE YOU..." It's true, you know.

Birthday Alert

2007-11-11T10:56:00.000-06:00

Today is Mike's birthday. You can visit his blog here and leave a birthday comment.

He says that when he was a kid his dad took him to a Veteran's Day parade and told him the parade was for him. Of course it wasn't, but I sure think he's worth celebrating!

Happy birthday, honey!

Another Birthday

2007-10-27T13:09:00.000-05:00

Thank you all for the birthday wishes. It meant a lot. I've been part of the Crossroads family for seventeen years, longer than I've ever been in any community apart from my own family. The Lord has taught me more about relationship and service and love through you than by any other means. I'm sure thankful to be a part of the CBC family!

Yarn Therapy

2007-10-17T14:26:00.000-05:00

This is another proud mama moment. My gifted daughter was interviewed about her passion for yarn in a craft art blogzine. Check it out.

That's my girl!

$14 The Hard Way

2007-10-07T16:17:00.000-05:00

We went to hear our very talented son perform in the Denton annual Rock Lottery last night. He was selected as one of 25 musicians to participate. The names were drawn from a hat to form 5 bands yesterday morning; people who've never played together before. They spent the day preparing 4 or 5 songs to play.

Here's the concert review on their performance from Pegasus News:

$14 The Hard Way

Laura Palmer
Rob Schumacher - Ghoultown, Little Big Horn
Greg Altuna - Mescalero, 420 Blues Band
Megan Carroll - Nouns Group
Ian Messerli - Valve, 100 Proof Hero

"$14 The Hard Way opened with a solid, dirty rock song featuring the low pitched, singing/yelling/talking vocals of Greg Altuna, with a melody that sounded at times similar to The Who's "Won't Get Fooled Again," or at the very least the snippet that gets repeated on CSI Miami's theme song. In creating a different sound from the other bands, $14 had the advantage of a violinist (Megan Carroll), which meshed very well into the first rock song, and took a more commanding role in the ensuing country and folk inspired tuneage. The second song featured primarily Laura Palmer singing sillier lyrics about sinning and making confessions over a folksy, bluegrass-twinged song that later broke out into more of a hoe-down. The third song of the set, and one of the best songs of the night, was introduced as being "country death." Ian Messerli opened the lyrics, singing over a what sounded more like an indie, Americana sound with wailing violin sharing the foreground. Palmer then joined in with her own verses, switching back and forth to tell the story of a couple that's destined to fail, largely because the woman plans on killing the man. The song sounded as if it was professionally composed over far more than a day's time, and for me, was the best put together song of the night. Closing on a cover song (that for the life of me, I can't place), $14 featured songs that were rich in instrumentation and written with full lyrics, which was definitely an achievement given the short amount of time allotted to all the bands."

Great job, Ian! You've got the chops!

Mother-In-Love

2007-10-02T00:01:00.000-05:00

Today is my mother-in-law's birthday. She's one of my heroes of the faith. When I was a newborn Christian, she was the woman I spent the most time around. She didn't know I was watching her each day, but I was. What I saw was a woman who loves her Lord above all else, serves her family enthusiastically, and is genuinely interested in every single person she ever meets. She has a burden for lost souls and goes out of her way to share the gospel. Her influence in my life as my spiritual mentor and second mom has had a great impact on me.

It's funny that we're going through a lesson on Naomi and Ruth this week in our women's bible study. I'd be the Ruth to her Naomi any day.

I love you, Mom. Happy birthday!

Hmmm.

2007-09-22T13:38:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I ate Raisin Bran for breakfast this morning.

That's life. Putting one foot in front of the other, right? I've been reticent to post anything since my mind went south on me. Anything I write would be so ... ordinary. I don't have any pithy observations of life. I can't put into words what God is doing in my life right now. I have no pet peeves to air. But I miss blogging and being in touch with our little community out here in cyberspace.

The Lord had me in one of those phases that feels like you're sitting in the waiting room of a doctor's office looking at your watch. You know those times? Except instead of reading women's magazines while I waited, I felt strongly urged to prepare (for what, I had no idea, but I had hopes). So I waited. Read. Prayed. Fussed. Read some more. Looked at my watch. Prayed some more. Sighed. Squirmed in my chair.

But God doesn't call our names in turn and have us step into his office to be treated. Turns out the waiting room stint IS the appointment with Him. Then He directs our steps out the door and into the lives of people. So now I'm out there. Busier than I've been since I worked full time or had young children at home. Too busy to ponder and think and write. And loving it.

I like Raisin Bran. I like being ordinary and going about God's business. Maybe I'll post about some more of that.

Just hope my mind is enjoying the time off. Sure seems to be taking its sweet time!

Lifehouse

2007-09-06T23:02:00.001-05:00

This reminds me to thank Him anew

What a Trip!

2007-09-03T10:10:00.000-05:00

"A Korah psalm. What a beautiful home, GOD of the Angel Armies! I've always longed to live in a place like this,
Always dreamed of a room in your house, where I could sing for joy to God-alive!
Birds find nooks and crannies in your house, sparrows and swallows make nests there. They lay their eggs and raise their young, singing their songs in the place where we worship. GOD of the Angel Armies! King! God!
How blessed they are to live and sing there!
And how blessed all those in whom you live, whose lives become roads you travel;
They wind through lonesome valleys, come upon brooks, discover cool springs and pools brimming with rain!
God-traveled, these roads curve up the mountain, and at the last turn--Zion! God in full view!
God of the Angel Armies, listen: O God of Jacob, open your ears--I'm praying!
Look at our shields, glistening in the sun, our faces, shining with your gracious anointing.
One day spent in your house, this beautiful place of worship, beats thousands spent on Greek island beaches. I'd rather scrub floors in the house of my God than be honored as a guest in the palace of sin.
All sunshine and sovereign is GOD, generous in gifts and glory. He doesn't scrimp with his traveling companions.
It's smooth sailing all the way with GOD of the Angel Armies."

I love Psalm 84 in the Message, What really stands out to me is the phrase "whose lives become roads You travel." We often use the word, 'walk', to describe our relationship with Christ or our journey toward spiritual maturity. The truth is, it's God's walk too, His journey. Like the lyrics of the old hymn, In the Garden, "He walks with me and He talks with me, and He tells me I am His own."

The realization that the living, sovereign God of hosts is my traveling companion through life is huge! He chooses to stay with me through lonesome valleys and up the mountain until I see Him in full view! And as verse 11 says, He's generous in gifts and glory and doesn't scrimp with His traveling companions.

I needed to be reminded of this today. How I'm feeling or whatever I'm experiencing have no bearing on God's presence in my life. He's right here with me. He never leaves me or forsakes me. (Heb. 13:5)

There Can Be Only One

2007-07-22T14:40:00.000-05:00

Mom came home with us from Arkansas so I haven't been spending much time on the internet. Here's an update:

She didn't win Ms. Senior Arkansas. This being her first time in the pageant, we discovered that the women who win have been in the pageant at least three times before. So now we (all of the family women who attended, that is) feel certain we know what it would take for her to win next year. We're already cooking up ideas for hairstyle, gowns, talent, everything. Next year, Mom! Next year!

The winner was an amazing 80-year old woman who performed a 2 1/2 minute Charleston dance with wonderful energy. She'll represent the Age of Elegance well during her reign as Miss Senior Arkansas.

We weren't able to get any decent pageant photos either, but when I receive her official photo, I'll post it. In the meantime, I've posted one of her at the pageant luncheon with her certificate of participation.

The next photo is from left, my step-niece Cassie, stepsister Sandi, Mom, me, Lindsay & baby G.

The last photo is of the Fat-Bottomed Girls (from a Queen song, "Fat bottomed girls, you make the rockin' world go round!")- three generations of Horton women plus one fourth generation, the soggy bottom boy.

The Girls

2007-07-12T23:40:00.000-05:00

Lindsay and I (and baby G., of course) are heading to Arkansas for the weekend to attend the Senior Miss Arkansas beauty pageant. My mom is a contestant.

I'm looking forward to some "face time" with my daughter. Usually we try to have conversations with the three mini-shes around, which proves a challenge if not an impossibility, so this will be nice.

I'm looking forward to seeing my mom in the pageant. I know she'll be a shining stand-out in the crowd of contenders, whether she wins or not. She's a very cool lady. One of her friends and a couple of my cousins have told her they want to be just like her when they grow up. I say, "stand in line," because Lindsay and I have the genetic advantage there.

I'm looking forward to a reception at my aunt's house after the pageant. We have all the Fat-Bottom Girls coming (the moniker we ended up with after last year's mother-daughter reunion: see The Family That Plays Together, posted 6.13.06) plus ten or twenty other relatives, some of which Lindsay has never met.

Mom's talent in the pageant is a monologue from the book, The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood. Seems appropriate. I don't think Lindsay and I will be returning with any secrets, but our Fat-Bottom Girls can definitely give the Ya-Ya's a run for their money!

I'll fill you in upon our return next week.

Not Cut Out For Religion

2007-07-11T09:54:00.001-05:00

I came across this poem by Jude Simpson on www.rejesus.co.uk, a great site. Tell me what you think of the poem.

I'm baack.

2007-07-09T11:59:00.000-05:00

I took a break for a bit from blogging. Too much time doing and not enough time thinking to compose a post, I guess. But as you know from reading Mike's blog, we just returned from a refreshing week in Colorado with the most wonderful friends. We walked up and down the roads of Breckenridge, gasping for air. We rode the motorcycles up, down, and all around. We visited with old friends and got to know new friends. It was great!

Captions for the pictures:

1. Mike and I at Turquoise Lake in Leadville, CO.
2. The gang at Loveland Pass: Mike, me, Darlene, Jay, Cathy, and Loy.
3. All of us stopping for lunch in Estes Park. That's Way Cool Caleb in the very front.
4. Yep, the only wildlife Mike saw. So he rewarded them with sunflower seeds.

I look forward to catching up with you all through your blogs and keeping up with mine, too!

Where I Live

2007-06-11T11:34:00.000-05:00

Having just finished the Nora Ephron book I referred to in my last post (it took me all of three weeks to read a 137 page book- I'm definitely slacking), I'm going to steal her idea for the book's 10th essay, entitled "Where I Live" and rewrite it to fit my own whereabouts:

1. I live in Lewisville, Texas. It isn't a city I would've circled on a map as one of the top ten places I'd choose to live. In fact, we used to pass through Lewisville on I-35 from Oklahoma as we headed to Dallas for Rangers games and family weekends at Six Flags, and I don't think I could've even told you the name of this town. I just remember watching the west side of the freeway for the funky little building with sea creatures painted on the eaves, before we passed the mall with the blue lights on top. But here I've lived for 17 years and watched it grow from a bucolic little bedroom community to a thriving city on its way to being a major shopping mecca in north Texas. I've also watched it grow in my heart from just another city in a long list of places I've lived, to the spot that's become more my home than anywhere I've ever lived.

2. I live in a tract home. It's built over a creek bed. The foundation is shot. We never know which doors will be stuck when we go to open them and which ones will refuse to latch at all. Every wall in the house has cracks in it. A typical deluge of Texas rain will flood our living room faster than a cockroach can outrun a shoe heel. But I love the smallness of it and the clutter of it and the giant birch and maple trees in our front yard and the fact that we're centrally located to just about everywhere we need to go. Our world shrunk considerably when Mike started working at CBC and I quit my job in Addison. Now we seldom venture out of our grooved paths to the church or the grocery store or the closest restaurants. Except for the groove we're working on ever since our kids moved to Denton.

3. I live on my 'chair-and-a-half.' It's located directly across from Mike's recliner and across the room from the TV. Half of my chair-and-a-half is covered with books: right now, they are the aforementioned Nora Ephron book, I Feel Bad about My Neck; two bibles; my journal; my planner; a Wiersbe commentary; Every Woman in the Bible by Sue and Larry Richards; a Nelson Illustrated Bible Handbook; and two yellow folders full of study prep papers and info. Perched over the pile of books is my IKEA side table which holds my laptop. Behind my head are the telephone and TV remotes, precariously balanced on the back of the chair. Behind the chair is a wastebasket, out of sight but oh, so handy. And to my right, a little table stocked with everything I could possibly need to fan myself, soothe a sore throat, mark my bible, do my nails, blow my nose, quench my thirst... You get the idea. This is my office. This morning I've already taken three calls, caught up on blog reading, used the online dictionary thrice, finished a book, and wrote this blog post. Hopefully I'll get to the bible reading next. I get a lot done in this spot!

4. And like Ms. Ephron, I live in my kitchen. I only cook a couple of times a week, but it's still the most important room in the house. Tonight I'm making taco salad. I've never counted how many times a day I'm in my kitchen, but I think I'll start keeping tabs. How many times and how long each time. Really, I do have better things to do with my time, but I AM curious. Sometimes I go in there to look for anything that would pass as a snack. I can get pretty creative since I try not to keep snacky stuff on hand. We do happen to have some pretzels and some Laughing Cow, which I've discovered make a pretty tasty combination. Usually I go in there to get something to drink- coffee, a glass of iced tea (made fresh daily, year round), or a bottle of water. Sometimes I go in there just to peek through the blinds. Right now the city is tearing up our street and every time the equipment pounds the asphalt to break it up, the house shakes. I have mental images of a giant sinkhole under our house from the bad foundation being jarred by the pounding, and our floor finally succumbing to gravity, pulling Mike and me and the dog down with it. Hopefully, we'll just end up with a nicer street.

I Feel Bad

2007-05-28T17:50:00.000-05:00

I'm still reading I Feel Bad about My Neck, by Nora Ephron. It's a hilarious collection of essays that address issues of middle-aged women. All the more humorous because I can identify with it. What is it about human beings that we find comfort in affinity and commiseration? I know we're created for community, but we carry it too far sometimes. In the extreme, it manifests as racism. In the everyday, as a living room full of friends who unwittingly divide themselves into groups of males and females.

Even in the church, we can choose to attach ourselves to a weekly small group made up of members with matching demographics. That can't always be good. Wouldn't it be better for us to congregate with people in different life circumstances? We have a lot to learn from each other.

I guess we do learn about ourselves by hanging around with people like us. We can compare and contrast the way we're doing life and see if we're doing okay or if we're completely abnormal. We find an affirmation of identity together. But we also tend to shy away from expanding our comfort zones to include people whose journeys differ from our own. What are we afraid of?

Drawing a Blank

2007-05-23T22:41:00.000-05:00

I'm sorry to you nice people who read my blog. I've just been SO blank-minded when it comes to writing a new post! The time I used to spend writing long posts is hard to come by right now, and when I sit down to free-write nothing comes to this old blank mind.

Do you ever have times when you know the Lord is teaching you stuff, but you just don't know what it is yet? I'm not a very observant person so it takes me a long time to catch on. But when I can put into words a truth that's worked its way into my head/heart, you'll be the first to know. In the meantime, I'll try to post bits about everyday life.

Right now, I am mostly very thankful that things are going well. I can boast that our God shows His love for us in each and every day, and I don't have to look too far to see His many blessings.

Psa 44:8 In God we have boasted all day long, And we will give thanks to Your
name forever. Selah.